There is a revolution going on in my dustbin. My waste does not wish to be waste and protests when I try to insist that the end of its life has come and it’s time to head for burial in landfill.
‘See reason’, I say to the empty wine bottles I have after the weekend. ‘What could I use you for I’m never going to fit a vineyard on my balcony?’
The bottles insist they are multi-skilled artists; more than one string to their bow. I acknowledge this but point out that I already have more bistro style candle holders than I have window sills to have wax melt over.
The bottles start wondering how much more I need to drink before my mind opens and how many more empty bottles there would be to save from landfill at the end of this process.
The bottles wish me to see their potential so take me to a trendy bar where all the lamp shades are made of empty wine bottles.
‘It’s called upcycling’, the bottles tell me. ‘We can be reincarnated in a manner which recognises our good karma, for we are bottles whose wine has eased your sorrows and we deserve to be something more in our next life’.
‘All of you?’ I only need so much lighting and had not planned to live in a wine bar themed flat. Wishing for an atmosphere of sobriety for at least some of the hours of each day. ‘Besides’, I point out, ‘I have no ability to use a craft knife?’
‘You’re looking at this issue back to front’, the bottles tell me. ‘What you need to do is create demand for upcyled products’.
But I spend too much time hungover to wish to live in a home where I might ever be tempted to pour myself a glass of light bulb.
Where will it end? Riding to work on a coat hanger, fishing for a credit card in a wellington boot as I pay for groceries? Someone save me from my waste.
Luckily for people who can use a craft knife Healthy Planet has a host of fun ways to upcycle with step by step picture guides on how to turn your waste into things you want. See Pinterest
Here are a couple of my favourites. I quite see why it makes sense to be able to find one’s hairdryer without the flex being caught around something else and enjoy a moderate amount of 
nature on the balcony.
I did a bit of upcycling while I was at the FoE conference. I show a tiny bit in my video here.
http://optical-minefield.co.uk/2012/09/friends-of-the-earth-conference-day-2/
What approach would FoE take on upcycling? That products are most energy efficient when they serve the purpose for which they have been designed or that making use of what we have is always better than discarding what we don’t need?